HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. This was a very happy Thanksgiving - giving thanks to our Creator, Savior and Lord. So much to be thankful for - we are all together, housed, clothed and fed. So far, Nathan has not had to have another brain surgery, and so it was an extra special Thanksgiving.

On the way home tonight, after looking at Christmas lights, Melissa was counting the days to Christmas:

"Oneday, Twoday, Foursday!" Pretty logical names for the days of the week.

Hope and Balloons

Yesterday I read the post "Permission to Hope" on the blog Bring the Rain that made me cry and hit home. It's a story that has to be told.

Angie Smith, the wife of the lead singer of Selah, was told at the beginning of her last pregnancy that her baby wouldn't live more than a few hours after birth. She carried that baby and got to have a few hours holding her, and that was all.

She is now expecting again. You have to read to the end of the post to see what the Lord did for her to comfort her in a way that only He could do. He has such tender knowlege of us. She put into words a lot of my feelings, even though our situation is different. I'm hoping Nathan's balloons (cysts) will burst. That's the hope I'm holding onto, along with the belief that God is in control, and that He is good.

After reading you will begin to see why she has over 4,000 followers, and over 250 comments on one post.

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2009/11/permission-to-hope.html#disqus_thread

Hearing and Seeing

Nathan's hearing exam went well. His hearing is in the normal range. Often chemo permanently destroys hearing in certain frequencies, but he can hear just fine. Well enough, said the audiologist, to hear mom when she tells you to clean up your room.

Yesterday afternoon he had an eye exam. His central vision is great, but, as I suspected, he has had damage to the optic nerve, and doesn't have peripheral vision to the right, which the doctor said is permanent. This was caused by pressure from the tumor or cysts. He didn't see any cranial pressure through Nathan's eyes, which was good news.

So, the bad news is far outweighed by the good news that he can hear well and see well for the most part, and that right now there isn't fluid build-up in his brain.

"Let me HEAR Thy lovingkindness in the morning; For I trust in Thee." (Psalm 143:8)

"O taste and SEE that the Lord is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" (Psalm 34:8)

FIRE DRILL

A few days ago we had a fire drill of sorts. We just had gotten home from the grocery store and I was about to make dinner when Nathan said, "I have a new headache," and then he went to the bathroom with diar....h. I thought, this could be it.

Called the neuro-oncologist's office - got an answering service.

Called Aaron - no answer. Called the security office at Aaron's work - no answer.

Called my friend who is on stand-by - no answer.

Dania ran to get photos of the family for Nathan to take to the hospital. (Her first response - how sweet.)

Then the on-call doctor called me back and said she didn't think it was anything to worry about, but I asked for Nathan's doctor to call me. He talked me through everything and explained why he wasn't concerned about this, that it would have to be a migraine-type headache.

So it was a fire drill, and we were all thankful to be home together that night having dinner together and not at the hospital.

A new leaf got added to our Thanksgiving Tree.

Today we went to the fire station to have a tour. I thought, if there was a possibility of having to take an ambulance I wouldn't want Nathan to be frightened, and the kids have always wanted to visit the fire station anyway. They had a blast. At the end of the tour the firemen and paramedics got a call so we got to see them jump in their trucks and roll.

THE SURGEON'S DECISION

The news we got today is that the surgeon wants to wait and watch, and not do surgery until something presents itself, if it ever does. I was told to go on with life as normally as possible and to not worry about the mild headaches Nathan has mentioned lately, but only if he gets a severe one that will be unmistakeable.

Another little twist ,as of this evening, is that Aaron will need to have a hernia repair surgery, possibly before Thanksgiving. Please pray for God's perfect timing for this.

ANOTHER BRAIN SURGERY?

We all left the house at 6:00 a.m. this morning for Nathan's MRI scan. After waiting some time we were told the doctor was in a meeting (not knowing the meeting was with the surgeon discussing Nathan's case).

The long and the short of it is that the cysts have grown rather quickly, and if the cysts grow any bigger they will plug off a ventricle in the brain where brain fluids drain. This could happen any time now. If it does, Nathan will have an excrutiating headache & nausea, then we will have hours to get him into surgery.

We're waiting to meet with the surgeon after he meets with a team of surgeons. Right now, the options we know about are:

*have surgery before hydrocephalis happens (but surgery before the ventricle tube swells is difficult because they would be going thru the ventricle endoscopically to get to the cyst, and its harder to go thru a narrow ventricle)
*implant a brain shunt at the 4th ventricle to drain fluids that way
*or, wait and have emergency surgery to drain the cysts if he starts getting brain swelling

So, please, please pray.
The odd thing is that after the doctor examined Nathan, making him run up and down the hall as usual, he said, "He couldn't look any healthier. Not even if he tried."
I've done everything I know to help him be healthy, but this is where, as a mom, I know I'm not in control, but God is.
Lately, we've been reading about Moses. I feel a bit like Moses' mom who did all she could to take care of him, but there came a point when she had to cast him upon the water in the basket and entirely entrust him to God.
Yes, my legs feel weak and I have a knot in my stomach. But it's good to walk through trials with our eyes open, not trying to run from them, holding the Lord's hand through the pain. Emotions are just part of this. His plan is a lot bigger than our narrow list of acceptable circumstances.